Fruitful Life Family Connections: June 2023

Community Servants: These former bi-vocational pastors have been international leadership advisors/ consultants/ professors/ and humanitarian statesmen; as well as songwriters, poets, authors, contributing authors (in an international best-seller), and served as ordained and licensed ministers for more than 30 years. Today, they are Board-certified master mental health coaches (BCMMHC), certified master life coaches (CMLC), holistic wellness promoters, human value advocates, and marriage, family and ministry mentors. They have been educated, trained and certified in Christian Leadership, Biblical Counseling, Chaplaincy (Chris), and Business Administration (Chris). They have each received a life-achievement, competency-based ministry doctorate (DSe), and two honorary doctorates (Hon.Causa). They founded C and C Connections, LLC, a coaching and consulting business that helps organizations build capacity in CARE (Civility/ Compassion; Awareness/ Accountability with Respect and Empathy); the STEP Forward Life Institute, an online life-education platform; and the Fruitful Life Learning Community, a non-traditional faith and spiritual wellness based ministry.

Friday, June 2, 2023

You Will Appear to Be Drab

In November of 1990, Carol and I were being prayed for by a group of pastors and leaders who had gathered from across the country. We were attending a special conference called The School of the Prophets. It was a conference for pastors and their leadership teams, including their administrators. During this conference, they set aside time to pray for everyone.

Having accepted the role as my brother's administrator, this was an extremely important time for me. Carol and I had been married nearly 10 years. Our first born son was only four years old. Our twins were only seven months old. Even though many things were spoken concerning our future ministry and our marriage, the most profound thing I took away from that session was the prophetic word about how my life and ministry would be perceived.

The word went something like this: “You will appear to be drab because of the way you will disarm and disenfranchise yourself in order that others will be seen.”

I have never forgotten that exhortation because it has always given me perspective about the way people would perceive and respond to our ministry, even to this day. Today, in America, you must be bold, strong and forceful to attract people to your business, organization, institution or church. Yet, I've had to deal with the fact that God said that I would appear to be drab.

Drab has definitions like: boring, dreary, drudging, ho-hum, humdrum, mind-numbing, monotonous, numbing, old, pedestrian, ponderous, slow, stale, stuffy, tedious, tiresome, tiring, uninteresting, wearisome, and wearying.

It doesn’t seem very encouraging to have the Spirit of God tell you that your ministry is going to appear to be drab. However, this word has served me very well through the years because it anchored me to not be surprised or get too discouraged by the responses of people.

Honestly, sometimes this is still a challenge for me because the most notable responses from people who see you as drab are dismissal and disregrard for what you share and teach. They love the encouraging words, but the words of wisdom and advice have often been ignored or glossed over. Sometimes it seemed like Biblical foundational teaching, as well as life and ministry experiences were meaningless. Yes, I will confess and admit, that's the toughest part about appearing to be drab.

We have watched our peers experience ministries that were exciting and explosive, while our ministry was more like the day to day, regular life, boring stuff that happens in a family. There isn't a lot of hype with us. We aren't charismatic, possessing magnetic personalities that draw crowds of people. Carol and I were, and always have been just a mom and a dad who served in the role of pastors for a time. So perhaps that is part of the reason we haven't grown very much beyond establishing a weekly support group. This society seems to desire the next new and exciting thing. However, the various types of people that God sent us to serve; all of them seemed to need a steady, no nonsense kind of mentorship.

Part of the reason why we appear to be drab is because we keep it real behind the scenes. Carol and I don’t believe in putting on a show or publically performing to impress people. Our most powerful moments take place in private coaching sessions on a zoom call, in our living room or sitting at the kitchen table. We had some great times in weekly church gatherings, but the bulk of what we are about is what takes place when there is no big crowd to observe it.

To this day, my wife and I still prefer sitting on our sofa, holding hands, talking and sharing our deepest thoughts with one another; rather than standing on a stage or in a pulpit performing for a crowd of people. The secret place is the only place that matters to us.

When our children were home, we had weekly or monthly family meetings and we talked openly and frankly in that setting. Therefore, our sons (preacher's kids) had no need to try to publically prove anything to anyone outside of what went on behind closed doors in our home.

When our youngest son got married, Carol and I had a private moment with him a few minutes before the wedding ceremony. When it came time to share publically during the wedding reception, we didn’t say very much because we had said what we needed to say behind the scenes. We felt no need to impress anyone publically.

Publically we may have appeared to be drab, but we didn’t mind that. What we had to say, we said it to our son privately and personally. So that’s a big part of why our ministry can appear to be drab publically. It’s because we keep it dynamic and real behind the scenes.

When a ministry appears to be drab, the number of people attending and supporting can remain small. It has been nearly impossible to establish a ministry team and a support base. In the business world, they call it building capacity. That basically means that it takes a certain minimum amount of staff, customers and investors to sustain a company or organization. In today's technology-driven world, you can go a lot further with a lot fewer people. Our daughter in law, our eldest son's wife, has been an absoloute God-send for us and our business. She has helped us grow and build even though we are a staff of only three. We are small, but mighty.

I guess what I'm saying is that God can, and still does, use the drabs of the world. Even though we don't always feel heard, we must realize that this is the same way God is treated all the time. It's not about us. It's all about Him. So instead of complaining or hanging our heads in some form of self-pity, we must all choose to move forward in obedience and appreciation of the opportunity to be a drab presence in a screaming world because somewhere, someone is no longer searching for thrills and excitement, but they're looking for the boring and real.

(The first/original version of this blog was posted July 23, 2013)

Chris and Carol Green

Friday, June 30, 2023

Fruitful Living Monthly Review and Updates (June)

Friday, June 2, 2023

You Will Appear to Be Drab

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