I don't know how to explain it or express it, but things are coming to a close. As the month of June faded out and as we come closer to the anniversary of the day we moved to Harrisburg (July 9, 2004), I feel that a door is closing. I don't know if you can call it a window of opportunity that is closing or if it is a book that is ending. I just feel like something has come to an end.
We've made the decision to change the name of the church from Fruitful Life Worship Center to Urban Life Church. We just know that Fruitful Life Worship Center has come to an end. It's purpose has been served. For everyone we were supposed to reach or connect with, I don't know if you can call it an overall success or a massive failure, but its time is over. We connected with Mom Dennis, the Carter family, and the Fosters and for that we are forever grateful. We are enriched and blessed because of them.
Now we are in transition again. We are looking for a house in the city, even though we have no earthly means of financing it or borrowing money to buy a home. We just know that we are supposed to prepare to move from where we are right now.
We're all saddened by the news that another prospective member is moving on. We tried our best to be loving and understanding, as well as being real and open. We didn't try to hide our flaws or pretend that we had it all together. Sometimes I'm totally confused and dismayed by the response of people in this community.
I also realize that we have really been out of it, these past two years. Since losing our home, we have also lost many dear people: Bishop John Gimenez, Bishop William Saunders, Bishop Val Melendez, Tiffany's mom passed away, and this year we lost Elder Chris Jackson. The past two years have been filled with tragic loss. I honestly don't know how we've been able to keep going. We really haven't taken time to process all of this. Carol and I used to take therapeutic walks after work everyday. We walked until the pain stopped, but that did not mean we were really healing and recovering from all that's been happening.
People here seem to be immune and indifferent to death and loss. They express no sympathy or concern for the losses of others. May be it's because they don't have close families, so they feel nothing when they hear that you've lost a brother or a friend.
We almost lost my baby brother a few months ago. Finally, our brother and Bishop had to be hospitalized with chest pains this past week. We didn't tell the church family because we didn't want to alarm them.
Emotionally and mentally, we feel the same way that we did when my brother Mark died 10 years ago. We were so traumatized that we lived in a daze for almost two years. When we came to ourselves we realized our house was in a mess, the church office was cluttered, our cars we unkept, and we were always crying at the drop of a hat.
As I write this, I realize that we are in the same condition. Once again, our current resident is cluttered and untidy along with our office/ studio area, bedrooms and vehicles. For the most part, we've been trying to keep going, but we're pretty messed up right now with so many losses in such a short amount of time.
So while we are trying to get through this, people are making judgments and evaluations about us and the validity of the calling and ministry. So I can only wish that we had been able to be better examples for them to follow.
This is the kind of thing that makes us wonder why the Lord ever called us. If it weren't for the video clips with the prophecies, we would be wondering if He really called us at all.
So we will press forward, forgetting those things which are behind....
We've made the decision to change the name of the church from Fruitful Life Worship Center to Urban Life Church. We just know that Fruitful Life Worship Center has come to an end. It's purpose has been served. For everyone we were supposed to reach or connect with, I don't know if you can call it an overall success or a massive failure, but its time is over. We connected with Mom Dennis, the Carter family, and the Fosters and for that we are forever grateful. We are enriched and blessed because of them.
Now we are in transition again. We are looking for a house in the city, even though we have no earthly means of financing it or borrowing money to buy a home. We just know that we are supposed to prepare to move from where we are right now.
We're all saddened by the news that another prospective member is moving on. We tried our best to be loving and understanding, as well as being real and open. We didn't try to hide our flaws or pretend that we had it all together. Sometimes I'm totally confused and dismayed by the response of people in this community.
I also realize that we have really been out of it, these past two years. Since losing our home, we have also lost many dear people: Bishop John Gimenez, Bishop William Saunders, Bishop Val Melendez, Tiffany's mom passed away, and this year we lost Elder Chris Jackson. The past two years have been filled with tragic loss. I honestly don't know how we've been able to keep going. We really haven't taken time to process all of this. Carol and I used to take therapeutic walks after work everyday. We walked until the pain stopped, but that did not mean we were really healing and recovering from all that's been happening.
People here seem to be immune and indifferent to death and loss. They express no sympathy or concern for the losses of others. May be it's because they don't have close families, so they feel nothing when they hear that you've lost a brother or a friend.
We almost lost my baby brother a few months ago. Finally, our brother and Bishop had to be hospitalized with chest pains this past week. We didn't tell the church family because we didn't want to alarm them.
Emotionally and mentally, we feel the same way that we did when my brother Mark died 10 years ago. We were so traumatized that we lived in a daze for almost two years. When we came to ourselves we realized our house was in a mess, the church office was cluttered, our cars we unkept, and we were always crying at the drop of a hat.
As I write this, I realize that we are in the same condition. Once again, our current resident is cluttered and untidy along with our office/ studio area, bedrooms and vehicles. For the most part, we've been trying to keep going, but we're pretty messed up right now with so many losses in such a short amount of time.
So while we are trying to get through this, people are making judgments and evaluations about us and the validity of the calling and ministry. So I can only wish that we had been able to be better examples for them to follow.
This is the kind of thing that makes us wonder why the Lord ever called us. If it weren't for the video clips with the prophecies, we would be wondering if He really called us at all.
So we will press forward, forgetting those things which are behind....
