You Can Have It All?

Carol L. Green

Best Practice Principles from Dr. Chris Thurman's Book: The Lies We Believe

As most of you know, we are working on the front lines as community life coaches. Although we know that we are apostles, sent to this community; and although we know that from time to time, we are also operating in the other four of the five-fold ministry gifts of prophet, pastor, teacher and evangelist; we do not use any of these descriptions, titles or distinctions as we go forth in this community. We are simply known as community life coaches who happen to be ordained ministers. That’s all the public knows about us. And we believe that’s how it’s supposed to be.

A few years ago, my husband began teaching about Believers moving in stealth-mode in order to be more effective in soul winning and discipleship. He said we must learn to operate under the radar, not seeking attention, acclaim or accolades. Then the Lord gave us a powerful way to minister in stealth and under the radar. It was through life coaching.

God has been using this aspect of our ministry to provide practical tools for people who are trying to rebuild their lives in the midst of great devastation. Part of that recovery process involves helping them see past the lies that they have received and believed.

We have been presenting you several quotes from Dr. Chris Thurman, author of the book,
The Lies We Believe. He categorizes the lies we believe as Self-Lies, Worldly Lies, Marital Lies, Distortion Lies and Religious Lies. Last week we introduced the topic of Worldly Lies. This week, I want to focus on a very specific worldly lie that says, ‘You can have it all.’

There are many things I have wanted in life, but just being able to attain my short list of wants has been impossible.  In my process of living, I have found that we don’t really NEED everything that we WANT. Most of the time, fulfilling those wants would have been self-destructive.

To have what we want isn’t always what we actually need.  Coming to the realization that everything we want isn’t healthy for us, is a major life lesson and it is not one that everyone has come to accept.

One of the most insidious lies we are told in the world today is that we can have it all. Whatever avenue the world chooses to communicate this message, through the various forms of media, the concept that we can have it all in life is totally ridiculous.

Do you remember the old 1970’s commercial in which a woman sings, ‘I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never ever let you forget you’re a man, because I’m a woman!’? Unfortunately, many women, over the last 40 years, have tried to live out those lyrics by trying to have a full-time career, a husband and children, all while trying to take care of a household and attempting to have time for themselves.

I’m not addressing those women who were forced into this situation. Nor am I making a moral or social commentary on those who made this attempt. I’m simply pointing out the ultimate fallacy of the attempt to have it all. Over the decades it was found that no one could maintain the balance in juggling all these desires and wants successfully.

Saying YES to one thing most certainly means saying NO to something else.  Saying yes to the job promotion can mean spending more time at work than you do at home, and that decision affects the relationships between spouses, and between parents and children.  Saying yes to the career can mean saying no to school recitals and no to the children’s sporting events. It can mean spending less time with a spouse; not being able to discuss the issues of life as they happen.  Tensions arise, frustration is felt, and there is distance in family relationships simply because issues aren’t able to be dealt with as they arise.

As human beings, when we receive the object of our desire, we still want more. Obtaining what we want doesn’t satisfy us. We always want more.  This lie ‘you can have it all’ devalues life because it has us focusing on what we want instead of enjoying what we already have. We fail to appreciate the most important things in everyday life such as waking up, having family who love and support us, having a place to live, or being able spend time with our children.

Dr. Thurman sets forth the example of King Solomon, the wisest, richest, and most influential king of Israel. He presents Solomon, who explored the ‘you can have it all’ lie, as a case study.

In Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 King Solomon talks about what having everything is really like. He says:

Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them.  I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor; and this was my reward from all my labor. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled and indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun.

King Solomon set his heart to seek and search out wisdom concerning all that is done under the sun (Ecl. 1:13) and saw the absurdity, frustration, futility, nonsense and emptiness of trying to be happy apart from God.

In trying to gain power, popularity, prestige or pleasure there is nothing that can fill the God-shaped void in man’s life except God himself.  Eat, drink, rejoice, do what is good, live joyfully, fear God, and keep His commandments. When you live this way, skepticism and despair will not remain part of your life. We must choose to view life daily as a gift from God.

Philippians 4:12 says, I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

Dr. Thurman says, “We can learn how to be happy with little or a lot, enjoying life’s daily joys as we would a feast.”

We Listen, We Lift, We Launch,

Coach Carol Green

Chris and Carol Green Release Life Coach Certification Schedule for Summer and Fall (2019)

Chris and Carol Green

Harrisburg, PA ---- Today, Chris and Carol Green and Sound Community Solutions, Inc released the official CARE-Ready Leadership Life Coach certification schedule for the summer and fall months of 2019. The schedule posted live on the website of Sound Community Solutions, Inc. as part of a collaborative effort with C and C Connections, LLC, to provide life coach certification to south central Pennsylvania and surrounding regions.

Through their Care-Ready Leadership initiatives and their proven coaching model, Chris and Carol Green retool and equip community, government and education leaders, human service organizers, business visionaries, and neighborhood dreamers; empowering them to be much more effective by embracing the principles of CARE (Compassion, Accountability, Respect and Empathy) in their professional and personal lives.

"Seating is limited to ten, with a maximum of 12 slots," urges Chris Green. "Our last two classes were filled, so we encourage interested participants to register as soon as possible."

This program involves 10-hours of instruction, homework assignments, group discussions, and a final project that will:

• Equip you with the foundations of life coaching
• Provide ice-breakers to open dialogue
• Provide essential tracking and strategy tools
• Provide techniques to navigate various personality types & thinking styles
• Help coaches identify and overcome negative thinking
• Provide tools to develop a successful thinking plan
• Present best practices of establishing a life plan
• Launch you with a customized coaching field manual

Program details, a downloadable course outline, answers to Frequent Asked Questions (FAQ's), Video Testimonials, and links to register online are available at www.CandCconnections.com/lifecoachtraining

The program's registration fee is $400, but with a special discount available to Community Partners, the June and July class registrations are reduced to only $150.

Additional Information: Click on Course Title to access registration page.

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  14JUN

  
  

  The CARE-READY Leadership Life Coach Certificate Program

  2001 North Front Street Bldg #2, Suite 323, Harrisburg PA 17102Fri, June 14 2019, 6:30 PM thru Fri. August 23, 2019 6:30 PM
• 18JUL

  
  

  The CARE-READY Leadership Life Coach Certificate Program

  2001 North Front Street Bldg #2, Suite 323, Harrisburg PA 17102Thu, July 18 2019, 6:30 PM thru August 29, 2019 6:30 PM
  
• 5SEP

  
  

  The CARE-READY Leadership Life Coach Certificate Program

  2001 North Front Street Bldg #2, Suite 323, Harrisburg PA 17102Thu, September 05 2019, 6:30 PM  thru October 17, 2019 6;30 PM
  
• 13SEP

  
  

  The CARE-READY Leadership Life Coach Certificate Program

  2001 North Front Street Bldg #2, Suite 323, Harrisburg PA 17102Fri, September 13 2019, 6:30 PM thru November 22, 2019 6:30 PM
  
• 7NOV

  
  

  The CARE-READY Leadership Life Coach Certificate Program

  2001 North Front Street Bldg #2, Suite 323, Harrisburg PA 17102Thu, November 07 2019, 6:30 PM thru Thu, December 19, 2019 6:30 PM

The Warping Effect of Worldly Lies

Carol L. Green

Best Practice Principles from Dr. Chris Thurman's Book: The Lies We Believe

As most of you know, we are working on the front lines as community life coaches. God has been using this aspect of our ministry to provide practical tools for people who are trying to rebuild their lives in the midst of great devastation. Part of that recovery process involves helping them see the lies that they have received and believed.

We have been presenting you several quotes from Dr. Chris Thurman, author of the book,
The Lies We Believe. He categorizes the lies we believe as Self-Lies, Worldly Lies, Marital Lies, Distortion Lies and Religious Lies.

Over the last few weeks, under the category of Self-Lies, Dr Thurman exposed the thoughts that many of us believed were truths; thoughts we built our lives upon that are really lies that the enemy has tricked us to believe; thoughts that cause us to be unhappy, unloving, and unsuccessful. This week we will begin to talk about the warping effect of worldly lies.

Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher, states, "The truth must essentially be regarded as in conflict with this world; the world has never been so good, and will never become so good that the majority will desire the truth."

Dr. Chris Thurman shares some very strong views on popular media as he introduces the worldly lies. He says, "...advertisements,  television shows, movies, magazines, music, and self-help books shout messages at us such as: Grab all the gusto!  Look out for number one! Do your own thing! If it feels good, do it! Your feelings are your best guide! You deserve to be happy!"

My husband and I have been appalled about the prescription drug commercials!  Of course they begin with what the medication is designed to do to help someone, but then the rest of the presentation is about the seemingly endless list of negative side effects of the medication.

It's simply bizarre that one of the side effects usually includes some of the symptoms that the medication is supposed to relieve! So what is the truth about the drug?

It’s amazing that there are people who believe everything they read in the newspaper, as if the articles are written by people who aren’t imperfect human beings, biased by their own opinions and agendas.

People actually believe that all these Reality TV shows are actually real. They don't see the obvious, that the scenes are staged and arranged to make the story-lines more interesting to the audience.

As we go about our daily lives, we are so busy that we start to believe that all of the news presentations, the reality TV shows, and the popular talk shows, as if though these celebrities know best how we should live our lives and deal with life’s challenges. Even some Believers tend to follow these worldly views more faithfully and willingly than the Word of God.

We now have Believers adopting worldly quotes and instead of denying self, taking up our crosses and following Christ, the motto is a bold and self-promoting claim of, "Do You!"

We must stop and think about these heart-warping effects from the lies of the world. How many of the subjects, presented by the world, are coming from a place of integrity? Many of the world’s viewpoints are dangerous and hinder us from having a healthy mental and emotional well being. Regrettably, there are many who are so indoctrinated in the world’s viewpoint that the true harmful nature of these viewpoints is not recognized. They are seen as harmless and entertaining.

Dr. Chris Thurman reminds us concerning the analogy of the “frog and water” metaphor.
It goes like this: if you drop a frog into boiling water, it will immediately jump out because it can tell quite clearly the danger it is in.  Yet if you put a frog in room temperature water and slowly heat the water until it is boiling, the frog will remain in the water and boil to death.

A frog adjusts to small changes in the water’s temperature over time until it loses its life for having done so.

This is the society in which we live.  Worldly belief systems have been added to the TV shows we watch, the advertisements we absorb, the music we listen to, the books we read or listen to, school books, games, etc.  Every aspect of society has been indoctrinated with a view point that dismisses God as irrelevant.

What’s even more dangerous is that these destructive belief systems have been added to our daily lifestyles. The outcome of accepting these worldly lies is that our lives are now filled with unhealthy emotional and mental instabilities, self-centered living, and selfish behavior.

For instance, I see this strong selfish mindset as the foundation that leads to deadly car accidents because people refuse to stop texting and driving. Their impulse to text is more important than anything and anyone else. You can see this warped mindset in husbands and wives who are having relationships with people outside of their marriage. I see the worldly lies as the foundation in abuse of every kind, hatred, jealousy, selfish ambition, envy, murder, and the way it seems that people are not able to distinguish between what is good and what is evil.

The TRUTH is, God sent His only Son to die for us in order that we could have life and have life more abundantly.  He has given us everything we need pertaining to life and godliness. God has made hope and a future available to us, but we have to choose to believe it and receive it. God’s kingdom and the way His kingdom is ordered, is diametrically opposed to the way the world lives and believes.

Which belief system will you choose to follow?  Will you follow the worldly belief systems that are fraught with and led by selfish human beings and their personal agendas, or will you choose to be a Kingdom citizen and receive the benefits of an abundant life?

We are teaching our coaching clients how to turn away from the worldly lies, so they can have the opportunity to become rich beyond monetary value.


We Listen, We Lift, We Launch,

Coach Carol Green

Pressing Past Pity Parties

Best Practice Principles from Dr. Chris Thurman's Book: The Lies We Believe

In the continued pursuit, as a life coach, to provide tools for people who are trying to rebuild their lives, this week I’m going to deal with the lie that says, "My unhappiness is somebody else’s fault." I want to call it Pressing Past Pity Parties.

"You hurt my feelings!"
 "If it weren’t for you I could have been something!"
 "You made me get angry!"
These are some serious pity party statements.

Dr. Chris Thurman, author of the book, The Lies We Believe, states that the theme of his book is that our way of thinking about the circumstances of our lives is what makes or breaks us.

The lie I want to discuss today says, the situations outside of ourselves, FORCE us to feel and act in certain ways. In this way of thinking, we dump the responsibility for our responses onto anyone or anything else other than ourselves. It points the finger at others and no responsibility for our actions is taken.

A great example would be to picture yourself in your car waiting at a red traffic light, behind several cars. The traffic light turns green, but the car in the front doesn’t move because they're texting and not paying attention. By the time they realize that it's time to move forward, they drive slowly through the intersection, but you miss the opportunity to go through because the signal goes back to red. Your face gets warm, your pulse quickens and you yell at the inconsiderate person! That would be me in this type of situation. I’m working on my road rage issues.

Okay, so what was it that made you angry? Was it the inconsiderate person who chose to text? Was it the person behind them who didn’t blow their car horn to alert them? It’s their fault that you’re angry, right? Wrong! Their action or inaction did not MAKE you angry nor force you to scream at them.

According to Dr. Thurman, external events don’t have the ability to MAKE us feel what we feel or do what we do. Coming into that realization is a key component in separating the psychologically healthy person from the psychologically disturbed person. People who are psychologically healthy take responsibility for their own feelings and actions, while the psychologically disturbed person will blame other people or things for their feelings and actions.

My husband tells the story about the night after one of his brothers passed away, how he was lying in bed sinking into a deep, dark, sadness that was overwhelming his mind and emotions.

I recall how he forced himself to get out of the bed and he stepped into the hallway and began to pray out loud. He walked back and forth in the hallway outside of our bedroom, crying loudly, while praying and singing songs of worship with all of his might, refusing to give in to those heart-breaking waves of grief. At that moment, he made a choice to reach out to God in the midst of his sorrow. About a week later he had what he calls "a good, healthy, cleansing cry" which helped him through the rest of the grieving process.

Dr. Thurman reveals that the reality is that what we feel and what we choose to do with our feelings, comes from within us and not just because of what someone did or said, or from the circumstances without. You and I respond to situations and people because we make a choice to respond the way that we do. No one else has the responsibility for our feelings or actions, but us.

If we want to live healthy, successful and fruitful lives, we must choose to accept responsibility for our actions. We must press past the temptation to have a pity party. Feelings aren’t necessarily right or wrong, but our actions can be right or wrong.

Dr. Thurman concludes: Our feelings, whether pleasant or unpleasant, can be directed by how we think. No one forces us to think the way we think. We are responsible for how we act on the feelings that external events create. Our unhappiness or happiness is our choice.

I’m not telling you to suppress your feelings, especially in the aftermath of loss and tragedy, or after a major conflict or disagreement with someone.  I’m insisting this:

• Don't allow your feelings to lead you.
• Don’t allow your feelings to make decisions for you.
• Don’t allow your feelings to send you into a pit party.

You’re better than that. You’re stronger than that.

Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”

We Listen, We Lift, We Launch,

Coach Carol Green

Chris and Carol Green Reach New Milestone, Have Now Commissioned 30 CARE-Ready Leadership Life Coaches

Lamont Jones, Dr. Margaret Moore and Larry Washington, Sr.
Commissioned as CARE-Ready Leadership Life Coaches

Harrisburg, PA --- With the conclusion of their first Life Coaching Class in 2019, Chris and Carol Green reached another milestone. Since launching their innovative life coach training in 2018, they have now commissioned 30 CARE-Ready Leadership Life Coaches to date.

New Coaches, Lamont Jones, Dr. Margaret A. Moore and Larry Washington, Sr. completed their training by passing an online exam, and by making an oral presentation, revealing how they will implement their unique coaching models in their chosen fields. All three candidates are affiliated with Sound Community Solutions, Inc, a high-impact organization in south central Pennsylvania that works diligently to help ex-offenders in their efforts to re-enter society.

"We are extremely honored that these very special people made a decision to go through our life coach certification program," commented Chris Green. "We recognized and realized this was going to be a very special class from the very first session."

Lamont Jones is a community organizer, as well as a  facilitator and mentor with Sound Community Solutions, Inc. He is an ex-offender who plans to incorporate life coaching in his 'Max Out Initiative'. He says, "I would like to continue to work with my community and people abroad to share my experiences with others, to show them that through trials and tribulations, you can turn your life around."

Dr. Margaret A. Moore serves on the Board of Directors of Sound Community Solutions, Inc. She has more than 40 years of professional experience as a Corrections professional and university professor. As she worked through the program, Dr. Moore was infused with a vision to take this innovative life coaching model into the world of Corrections.

Larry Washington is a coordinator with Sound Community Solutions. He has vast experience as a Drug and Alcohol Counselor, Correctional case manager, mentor, and spiritual adviser. His primary interest in the program was for human service and pastoral coaching. He plans to use his new tools to build on a coaching model that works seamlessly with his clinical training.

As the world's leading producers of CARE-Ready Leadership Life Coaches, Chris and Carol Green teach and train community, government and education leaders, human service organizers, business visionaries, and neighborhood dreamers how to be much more effective by embracing the principles of CARE (Compassion, Accountability, Respect and Empathy) in their professional and personal lives. They LISTEN to people,  LIFT people and LAUNCH people. Then they equip and empower them to do the same for others.

While most programs teach life coaches how to target potential high-paying affluent clients, and high-paying speaking opportunities, the Greens train, equip and empower specialized CARE-Ready Responders and Leadership Life Coaches, who are willing to take on the most often overlooked people of society, who live in under-served communities, who can least afford, but can benefit the most from professional guidance.

If you want to be trained and empowered to live for a purpose that's greater than yourself, ENROLL NOW at http://www.CandCconnections.com/lifecoachtraining

Pressing Past Personal Preferences

Carol L. Green (D.Hon.Causa)

Best Practice Principles from Dr. Chris Thurman's Book: The Lies We Believe

In last week's Listen, Lift, Launch Letter, we dealt with the lie that says, "It’s easier to avoid problems than to face them."  In our continued pursuit, in our life coaching, to provide tools for people who are trying to rebuild their lives, this week we are going to take on the lie that says, "I can’t be happy unless things go my way." I want to title this week's discussion, Pressing Past Personal Preferences.

What is your response when your expectations don’t materialize as you think they should or WHEN you think they should?  What is your response when people have an annoying habit of being late or not putting things back where they belong? How about when you plan to spend quality time with your spouse and they say something that irritates you?

There is a bumper sticker I’ve seen on cars that states “Life Happens”.  The reality of life is that things don't always happen the way we prefer them to happen.

This is real life: You’re hoping to catch a perfectly-timed sequence of green traffic lights on the way to work because you’re running late, but someone pulls in front of you, driving 10 miles per hour with an attitude to match their speed; causing you to get caught at a red light.

This is real life: Your company has to lay you off because business isn’t going well.

This is real life: You wear a white outfit and somehow you spill something on it that stains it.... forever!

How many of us actually accept these things about life without it allowing it to make us cynical or resentful?  How many of us really want to accept the fact that life can be and often is difficult, without it causing a conflict in our understanding about faith, God's sovereignty, and our personal reactions?

In his book, The Lies We Believe, Dr. Chris Thurman suggests that it’s not easy to keep a good attitude if you get into your car and it doesn’t start; if someone has a loud conversation at the movies; or if someone jumps ahead of you in a long line at your favorite restaurant.

The “I can’t be happy unless things go my way” lie, which is destructive in any healthy relationship, is at its worst in our marriages. The individuality of a person can be so strong that the “we” is never allowed to grow and develop.  These marriages have one or both spouses pulling the other into their way of thinking and doing things; instead of learning how to blend. The individuality in these marriages often creates two people pulling in separate directions and fighting all the time over petty issues. 

Dr. Thurman discloses that life has a real nasty habit of reminding us that it will not always go the way we want it to go.  How will you choose to respond in light of that fact?  We will become a person that no one is able to live with or we will make the best of it and handle each situation or person with the grace that God the Father gives us each day.

When people respond to us in ways that don’t meet our personal preferences and expectations, we can choose our responses, even though we don't necessarily like what they're doing. We must choose, in the moment, to face the issue within ourselves and receive the power and ability God has given to help us deal with the situation.

Remember, it isn’t simply what someone else says or does that makes you unhappy, it’s how you and I choose to respond.  It isn’t simply what happens to us that makes us unhappy, it’s how you and I view it. Even when things don’t go our way, we can still keep a Godly attitude. This sounds like fantasy, especially in situations of betrayal like infidelity. But even in this, we can choose our response. We don't HAVE TO react in violence and claim, "He made me throw out his clothes!" or "She made me punch her!"

Acts 20: 22-24 reads, "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

James 1:2-3 says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.”

The proper attitude in dealing with people, as well as all of life's hardships, is to count it all joy, which is not an emotional reaction, but (according to the commentary in the Spirit-Filled Life Bible) a deliberate, intelligent appraisal of the situation from God’s perspective, viewing trials (and might I add, people's responses) as a means to moral and spiritual growth.

This commentary goes on to say that we don’t rejoice in the trials themselves, but in their possible results. Testing carries the idea of proving genuineness. Trials serve as a discipline to strip away what is false. Patience is not a passive resignation to adverse circumstances, but a positive steadfastness that bravely endures.

In order to press past my personal preferences, I must count it all joy when people and circumstances go against my expectations.

We Listen, We Lift, We Launch,

Coach Carol Green