 |
| Carol L. Green (D.Hon.Causa) |
Best Practice Principles from Dr. Chris Thurman's Book: The Lies We Believe
A few years ago, my husband began teaching people of Faith about moving in stealth-mode in order to be more effective in soul winning and discipleship. He said we must learn to operate under the radar, not seeking attention, acclaim or accolades. Then the Lord gave us a powerful way to minister in stealth and under the radar. It was through life coaching.
God has been using this aspect of our community outreach to provide practical tools for people who are trying to rebuild their lives in the midst of great devastation. Part of that recovery process involves helping them see past the self-lies, worldly-lies, marital-lies, distortion-lies, and religious-lies that they have received and believed.
I have been sharing with you, some of the ways we are helping people to identify these lies that have held them back. This week, as we continue in our discussion about worldly lies, I want to discuss the lie that says, “Life should be easy!”
We all would like life to be easy and many of us are doing our best to try to make it easier. There are all kinds of gadgets that have been invented to make life easier. I would hate to be without my microwave, central air conditioning (even though I grew up without it), or the automatic dishwasher. I would rather not do without them after having the convenience of them for so long.
Of course there is nothing wrong with trying to make every day life as convenient as possible because it saves time while giving us more time to do the things we would rather do.
The problem occurs when we believe the worldly lie that all of life should be easy; that we shouldn’t have to experience difficulties at all.
This can present a theological problem for some of our readers because of their understanding of what it means to live and walk by faith. Right now, I’m addressing an unhealthy, unrealistic expectation that we have encountered with some of our clients and perhaps some of you, your friends or family members. I’m addressing the thought behind the behavior that triggers a person to run away from any thing or any thought that will produce any kind of pain or discomfort.
We know a young man who married a woman who had a drug addiction. He did so against the advice of his family. He thought he could help her. However, because of her addiction, he lost his house, car and his self-confidence. They eventually divorced. This failure damaged the way he saw himself. He expected marriage to be easy. He expected her healing process to be easy. He had believed that worldly lie (life should be easy) and even used Bible scripture to try to minimize the battles he had taken on.
We tried to advise him in how to move on with his life, but the only thing he wanted to focus on was how badly he was treated by his ex-wife. To this day, it is very difficult to talk to him about the challenges of everyday life, especially if you disagree with him. He tends to explode and not want to continue the conversation. He has become resentful and bitter, unwilling to accept or see his part in the relationship’s collapse. Like so many people, he did not anticipate the hard work that is necessary. When life did not unfold with the ease that he expected, he became another one of those people who run away from any conversations or any issues that cause any kind of pain or discomfort.
Dr. Chris Thurman, author of the book The Lies We Believe, says, “Life is not easy. Never has been, never will be. Whether we like it or not, the fact of the matter is that life is tough.
The willingness to accept this, truly accept it, helps us to have a life free from bitterness and resentment. Some people do have it better than we do. But many people, many people, have it a whole lot worse. And all of us have issues to deal with it.”
One of the revelations my husband presented in a weekly newsletter, is that we live in a fallen world. My husband wrote:
“We must accept the reality that we live in a fallen, frail and fractured world. We live among imperfect people who are making choices and many of those choices affect us and everyone around them.
We live in a world where gas runs out, time moves on, machines wear down, accidents happen, and plans fail. Due to gravity, objects will fall and break. Human frailty means we can slip or stumble. Sometimes we guess and we guess wrong. Sometimes we assume and circumstances change and our assumption goes awry. Sometimes we miscalculate.
It’s not a demon. It’s not a particular sin. (It’s not even a lack of FAITH). We live in a world in which sin and evil have caused it to be broken and unpredictable.”
We have seen first-hand that when people reject the concept that we aren’t owed comfort and ease in life, they tend to experience bitterness and resentment in the aftermath of their failed expectations of life. They begin alienating those around them.
Did you know that our physical bodies respond to the emotions of bitterness and resentment by releasing harmful chemicals into its own systems? That physical response, alone, provides further proof that the worldly lie, “Life should be easy” is nothing more than a set up for more negative consequences that we could not have anticipated.
In life, there are hard times and seasons. We don’t like it when we have to face hard times, but these moments do something that nothing else can. When we choose to face and persevere through hard times, it builds intestinal fortitude, our spiritual muscles are strengthened, and we gain experience and wisdom for future challenges.
Ultimately, we learn to place all of our hope and expectations in Christ alone. This world will continue to be broken and unpredictable, but life in Christ is about experiencing victory, even in a fallen world.
We Listen, We Lift, We Launch,
Coach Carol Green
