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| Carol L. Green (D.Hon.Causa) |
Best Practice Principles from Dr. Chris Thurman's Book: The Lies We Believe
As most of you know, we are ministering on the front lines as community life coaches. God has been using this aspect of our ministry to provide practical tools for people who are trying to rebuild their lives in the midst of great devastation. Part of that recovery process involves helping them discover the lies that they have received and believed.
We have been presenting several quotes from Dr. Chris Thurman, author of the book, The Lies We Believe. He categorizes the lies we believe as Self-Lies, Worldly Lies, Marital Lies, Distortion Lies and Religious Lies.
I have been sharing with you, some of the ways Dr Thurman is helping people to identify the lies that have held them back. This week, we begin our discussion by addressing marital lies.
In the book we have been discussing, The Lies We Believe by Dr. Chris Thurman, there is a quote from William Lederer (American Author) and Don Jackson (Psychiatrist):
“To understand the realities of the marital relationship it is essential first to recognize the unrealities.”
There are many nice people who were very much in love that have gotten married, but they came to the place of wondering if they had made the biggest mistake in their lives.
Chris and I have done quite a bit of premarital and marital consultation over the years. One of the things we have consistently seen is the unrealistic expectations of what married life is and what it takes to have a successful marriage. The trouble always begins when one person does not meet the expectations of their partner.
Hollywood and romance novels have blurred reality and skipped over the messy aspects of relationships, especially marriage. Nowadays marriage is viewed by some as being unnecessary and unrealistic. What God intended marriage to be has been redefined.
It can be disappointing to find that marriage is hard work, but if you invest in your relationship, what you reap is far more than you could have imagined. Over the next few weeks, we will again walk through Dr. Thurman’s observations to expose the faulty, destructive beliefs. We will explore six lies that many couples have embraced, causing much heartache.
Dr. Thurman quotes an old joke and says: “(There is) the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. The lies we are about to examine are the primary cause of the suffering that many couples experience. They are also the reason why so many people divorce. If we want to save our marriages, we have to overcome these lies.”
Marriage is a topic that is near and dear to me and my husband. For more than 20 years, we have been working with people before, during and even after marriage. We have written a book that shares our experiences, as well as the principles that saved our relationship. We also produced several online courses and continue to provide marriage coaching. Most of our marriage-advisory time is spent dismantling lies and misconceptions, so I look forward to sharing from Dr. Thurman's book and from our personal experiences.
Just as the crumbling institution of the family is at the core of most of our challenges in society, we believe the breakdown of marriage is a huge part of why we have seen the collapse of our urban communities. We seek to do our part in rebuilding hearts and homes.
We Listen, We Lift, We Launch,
Coach Carol Green
