My life is in His hands

When I see my wife embracing her mother after so many years of crying because they couldn't even talk to one another, then moving to Harrisburg was worth it.

More and more I'm coming to realize that the primary reason God sent us here was about family. HE used the church planting strategy of our bishop to get us here, but the real reason was that HE was answering a prayer in my mother-in-law's heart.

She cried out to God to be in a church where the pastor had a heart after God. She asked God to put her in a church where she could experience the Bible in real life, in today's generation. She wanted to get to know her grandsons. She wanted to be reconciled with her only daughter.

So God set it up all along. There was a time when I would have been very discouraged that the church membership never exceeded 12 people. There was a time I would have been discouraged that the majority of people who show any interest in the ministry are the 200+ who watch us on line every week.

But the sovereign hand of God and the masterful way in which He guides us, has me in the comfort of knowing that HE knows what is best. My life is in His hands.

I wasn't exactly ready for that....

Right now we seem to be coming to a climatic moment for everyone associated within and without Urban Life. Decisions have been made and now they are following though on those decisions. It's the same throughout the city.

I used to wonder how missionaries or apostles came to a point where they knew it was time to go. Now I know that when that time comes, it's not when WE feel it's time to go. That time comes after a decision has been made by the people that God sends you to. The decision as to whether they will obey the voice of God or not, will determine if whether God tells His servants to stay, or to move on to the next assignment.

So we're hanging in the balance right now. We've already decided that we will stay if the Lord says stay. No doubt about that. We will obey the Lord until the last.

Somehow I wasn't prepared for this, though. What if the community and the people God sends you to says NO, we don't want it. What if their true response is "We're not ready to change yet." What if they look at God and look at you and declare: "We're tired of fighting and we're not gonna go into the Land of Promise."

Wow... I wasn't exactly ready for that....

Family Reconnection

Last couple of weeks was really tough, but we had a refreshing and fun time today in our Sunday Cafe to start a new week. We danced, we sang, we laughed, we ate, and then we spent some time in the Word. It was a good family reconnection moment. I told my wife that ministry is fun again. Even though it was a little cold outside, it was nice and warm inside. The week got off to a good start.

My Purpose In Life

I'm just a north St. Louis ghetto kid that God touched at 4-years old. My mom was pregnant with me when her youngest child died. I was born after that great loss. Now I know that my purpose in life is to declare life after death, victory after loss, grace after grief, and purpose after pain.

Walking with God

Well I've started my effort to get back in shape. Way back in high school I used to jog around the Missouri Botanical Garden five days a week. When I attended O.R.U. I could run a couple of miles easily. I loved running. I kept at it for a while even after the church got started in St. Louis.

Running was relaxing and therapeutic. I tried to get back into it again after we moved to Pennsylvania, but the trauma of the last few years was overwhelming. I stopped completely and just gained weight and got flabby and heavy.

After my youngest brother's heart attack, Carol and I started taking walks around the neighborhood. It was very therapeutic and healing. We talked and vented. We connected again. That trip to St. Louis to see my brother had been very difficult. We felt raw on the inside after that trip. Walking and talking was healing for us.

Now we've entered a new era in the ministry. We're in a very nice facility for Urban Life Church. We finally have some stability and a regular schedule. I love it. We've had a couple of visitors and we're going through the What NOW book.

We still aren't seeing a leap in attendance, but something profound is happening to me. I feel the presence of God on me all the time. I've started walking again and it's just wonderful. I just walk and pray in the spirit the whole time. There's a trail that goes around a pond in our neighborhood, so I just walk along the trail praying.

As soon as I get home from work, I change clothes and go for my daily walk with the Lord. I can't explain it, but it's like God is downloading into me when I walk. It's too much to try to grasp it all at once. I just know that I'm being filled up.

I know it's physically healthy to walk everyday, and I plan to pick up the pace and eventually get back to jogging and then running. But this is spiritually and emotionally healthy for me as well. I feel the Lord is pacing me. We have a lot of decisions to make. So I look forward to my daily walk with God.