Your Eternal Worth and Value

As most of you know, we are ministering on the front lines in Harrisburg, PA as community life coaches. Although we know that we are apostles, sent to this community; and although we know that from time to time, we are also operating in the other four of the five-fold ministry gifts of prophet, pastor, teacher and evangelist; we do not use any of these descriptions, titles or distinctions as we go forth in this community. We are simply known as community life coaches who happen to be ordained ministers. That’s all the public knows about us. And we believe that’s how it’s supposed to be for Chris and Carol Green. 

A few years ago, my husband began teaching about Believers moving in stealth-mode in order to be more effective in soul winning and discipleship. He said we must learn to operate under the radar, not seeking attention, acclaim or accolades. Then the Lord gave us a powerful way to minister in stealth and under the radar. It was through life coaching. 

God has been using this aspect of our ministry to provide practical tools for people who are trying to rebuild their lives in the midst of great devastation. Part of that recovery process involves helping them see past five catgories of lies, according to Dr. Chris Thurman who wrote a book called, The Lies We Believe. Those five categories are the self-lies, worldly-lies, marital-lies, distortion-lies, and religious-lies that have been received and believed by millions of people.

I have been sharing with you, some of the ways Chris and I are helping people to identify these lies that have held them back. This week, as we continue in our discussion about worldly lies,
I want to uncover the lie that says, “My worth is determined by my performance.”

There are many people who connect their personal worth and value to how well they perform and how much their work performance is appreciated by the people in their jobs, careers, families, schools, churches, etc.  For nine years, I worked in Pennsylvania's state government and the yearly performance review was very important. A successful evaluation could mean a promotion and higher wages.  

I strove to build a good work ethic by becoming an employee that was reliable and easy to work with.  It made me feel good to have my work ethic appreciated by my immediate supervisor and coworkers.  However, I had an internal fight to make sure that my personal self-worth was not connected to my desire to be appreciated for my work ethic.  My employment value would have been in question, had I not been able to fulfill the job requirements, but not my personal worth and value.

In our culture, when a person does well in their chosen field, they are highlighted as someone to emulate in order to achieve similar success in our lives; in order to make our lives worthwhile to society.  Unfortunately, success has been redefined as having worth. If you’re successful, then you are worth honor, awards, money and fame.  So we go about our lives trying to earn and build success in order to build our personal worth and value.  

In his book, The Lies We Believe, Dr. Chris Thurman relates a story about a pre-med student by the name of Kathy Ormsby:  

Kathy Ormsby was also an honor student and track star at North Carolina State University.  She was the collegiate record holder in the women’s ten thousand meter run.  Something unexpected happened during the 1986 NCAA track and field championship race.  Kathy fell behind and couldn’t seem to catch the front-runner.  In a startling move, she ran off the track and out of the stadium to a nearby bridge, where she jumped off.  The forty foot fall permanently paralyzed her from the waist down.  

Without knowing Kathy personally, it can only be presumed that the pressure she put on herself to be perfect coupled with a tendency to equate her worth with performance created a level of misery she couldn’t handle.  Many of us struggle with those two issues – having to be perfect and having personal worth dictated by achievement – reach a point of total despair, even suicide, when we experience failure.

Dr. Thurman asked several questions that we all need to answer: 
• How can we find a stable sense of worth in a world that focuses on what we do, instead of who we are?  
• Who are you apart from what you do? 
• Do you have to “do” to have worth, or are you clear yet that you ”are” a person of innate worth because of whose image you bear?  

We live in a world that promotes a message that is hard to ignore; that constantly communicates that our worth is found in what we do and in how well we perform.  

What is it that truly gives a person worth? The TRUTH is that we all have worth and value because we have been made in the likeness and image of God.  In Psalms 139:14 it states that we have been fearfully and wonderfully made by our heavenly Father who created the universe. According to Dr. Thurman, we have been formed by an eternal God and therefore, we have eternal worth and value that has nothing to do with performance, achievements and our various definitions of success.

And I’ll add a side note to address America’s ethnic and skin-color wars: Everyone’s value and worth is equal! We are all priceless! God made us diverse and unique for specific purposes.
Therefore, never say that you don't see color and you don't see differences. Yes, we see them. Yes, we can acknowledge them. We just don't have to let those differences divide us.

Chris and I personally understand the history and heartache of many people in the Black Lives Matter movement. We also understand the push back from the All Lives Matter crowd! But the key is for all to discover their true worth and value in God through Jesus Christ. Then we can all begin to work through our negative history in this country from God's perspective; from a Kingdom of God world view.    

Of course, living in a world that is constantly pushing a belief and agenda that is contrary to our Creator can be difficult.  We have to constantly reinforce the truth taught in the word of God by reading it, believing it, and walking it out daily. We must choose daily to receive the grace and truth that is available to us. That's where we find our eternal worth and value.


For the least of these, 

Coach Carol L. Green

You Can Have It All?

As most of you know, we are ministering on the front lines in Harrisburg, PA as community life coaches. Although we know that we are apostles, sent to this community; and although we know that from time to time, we are also operating in the other four of the five-fold ministry gifts of prophet, pastor, teacher and evangelist; we do not use any of these descriptions, titles or distinctions as we go forth in this community. We are simply known as community life coaches who happen to be ordained ministers. That’s all the public knows about us. And we believe that’s how it’s supposed to be. 

A few years ago, my husband began teaching about Believers moving in stealth-mode in order to be more effective in soul winning and discipleship. He said we must learn to operate under the radar, not seeking attention, acclaim or accolades. Then the Lord gave us a powerful way to minister in stealth and under the radar. It was through life coaching. 

God has been using this aspect of our ministry to provide practical tools for people who are trying to rebuild their lives in the midst of great devastation. Part of that recovery process involves helping them see past the lies that they have received and believed.

We have been presenting you several quotes from Dr. Chris Thurman, author of the book, The Lies We Believe. He categorizes the lies we believe as Self-Lies, Worldly Lies, Marital Lies, Distortion Lies and Religious Lies. Last week we introduced the topic of Worldly Lies. This week, I want to focus on a very specific worldly lie that says, ‘You can have it all.’

There are many things I have wanted in life, but just being able to attain my short list of wants has been impossible.  In my process of living, I have found that we don’t really NEED everything that we WANT. Most of the time, fulfilling those wants would have been self-destructive.

To have what we want isn’t always what we actually need.  Coming to the realization that everything we want isn’t healthy for us, is a major life lesson and it is not one that everyone has come to accept.

One of the most insidious lies we are told in the world today is that we can have it all. Whatever avenue the world chooses to communicate this message, through the various forms of media, the concept that we can have it all in life is totally ridiculous.  

Do you remember the old 1970’s commercial in which a woman sings, ‘I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never ever let you forget you’re a man, because I’m a woman!’? Unfortunately, many women, over the last 40 years, have tried to live out those lyrics by trying to have a full-time career, a husband and children, all while trying to take care of a household and attempting to have time for themselves.  

I’m not addressing those women who were forced into this situation. Nor am I making a moral or social commentary on those who made this attempt. I’m simply pointing out the ultimate fallacy of the attempt to have it all. Over the decades it was found that no one could maintain the balance in juggling all these desires and wants successfully.  

Saying YES to one thing most certainly means saying NO to something else.  Saying yes to the job promotion can mean spending more time at work than you do at home, and that decision affects the relationships between spouses, and between parents and children.  Saying yes to the career can mean saying no to school recitals and no to the children’s sporting events. It can mean spending less time with a spouse; not being able to discuss the issues of life as they happen.  Tensions arise, frustration is felt, and there is distance in family relationships simply because issues aren’t able to be dealt with as they arise.

As human beings, when we receive the object of our desire, we still want more. Obtaining what we want doesn’t satisfy us. We always want more.  This lie ‘you can have it all’ devalues life because it has us focusing on what we want instead of enjoying what we already have. We fail to appreciate the most important things in everyday life such as waking up, having family who love and support us, having a place to live, or being able spend time with our children.

Dr. Thurman sets forth the example of King Solomon, the wisest, richest, and most influential king of Israel. He presents Solomon, who explored the ‘you can have it all’ lie, as a case study.

In Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 King Solomon talks about what having everything is really like. He says:

Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them.  I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labor; and this was my reward from all my labor.

Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done and on the labor in which I had toiled and indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun. 

King Solomon set his heart to seek and search out wisdom concerning all that is done under the sun (Ec. 1:13) and saw the absurdity, frustration, futility, nonsense and emptiness of trying to be happy apart from God.  

In trying to gain power, popularity, prestige or pleasure there is nothing that can fill the God-shaped void in man’s life except God himself.  Eat, drink, rejoice, do what is good, live joyfully, fear God, and keep His commandments. When you live this way, skepticism and despair will not remain part of your life. We must choose to view life daily as a gift from God.

Philippians 4:12 says, I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.  

Dr. Thurman says, “We can learn how to be happy with little or a lot, enjoying life’s daily joys as we would a feast.” 

For the least of these, 

Coach Carol L. Green

The Warping Effect of Worldly Lies

As most of you know, we are ministering on the front lines in Harrisburg as community life coaches. God has been using this aspect of our ministry to provide practical tools for people who are trying to rebuild their lives in the midst of great devastation. Part of that recovery process involves helping them see the lies that they have received and believed.

We have been presenting you several quotes from Dr. Chris Thurman, author of the book, The Lies We Believe. He categorizes the lies we believe as Self-Lies, Worldly Lies, Marital Lies, Distortion Lies and Religious Lies. 

Over the last few weeks, under the category of Self-Lies, we exposed the thoughts that many of us believed were truths; thoughts we built our lives upon that are really lies that the enemy has tricked us to believe; thoughts that cause us to be unhappy, unloving, and unsuccessful. This week we will begin to talk about the warping effect of worldly lies.

Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher, states, "The truth must essentially be regarded as in conflict with this world; the world has never been so good, and will never become so good that the majority will desire the truth."

Dr. Chris Thurman shares some very strong views on popular media as he introduces the worldly lies. He says, "...advertisements,  television shows, movies, magazines, music, and self-help books shout messages at us such as: Grab all the gusto!  Look out for number one! Do your own thing! If it feels good, do it! Your feelings are your best guide! You deserve to be happy!"  

My husband and I have been appalled about the prescription drug commercials!  Of course they begin with what the medication is designed to do to help someone, but then the rest of the presentation is about the seemingly endless list of negative side effects of the medication. 

It's simply bizarre that one of the side effects usually includes some of the symptoms that the medication is supposed to relieve! So what is the truth about the drug?

It’s amazing that there are people who believe everything they read in the newspaper, as if the articles are written by people who aren’t imperfect human beings, biased by their own opinions and agendas.  

People actually believe that all these Reality TV shows are actually real. They don't see the obvious, that the scenes are staged and arranged to make the storylines more interesting to the audience.  

As we go about our daily lives, we are so busy that we start to believe that all of the news presentations, the reality TV shows, and the popular talk shows, as if though these celebrities know best how we should live our lives and deal with life’s challenges. Even some Believers tend to follow these worldly views more faithfully and willingly than the Word of God.

We now have Believers adopting worldly quotes and instead of denying self, taking up our crosses and following Christ, the motto is a bold and self-promoting claim of, "Do You!" 
  
We must stop and think about these heart-warping effects from the lies of the world. How many of the subjects, presented by the world, are coming from a place of integrity? Many of the world’s viewpoints are dangerous and hinder us from having a healthy mental and emotional well being. Regrettably, there are many who are so indoctrinated in the world’s viewpoint that the true harmful nature of these viewpoints is not recognized. They are seen as harmless and entertaining. 

Dr. Chris Thurman reminds us concerning the analogy of the “frog and water” metaphor.  

It goes like this: if you drop a frog into boiling water, it will immediately jump out because it can tell quite clearly the danger it is in.  Yet if you put a frog in room temperature water and slowly heat the water until it is boiling, the frog will remain in the water and boil to death. 

A frog adjusts to small changes in the water’s temperature over time until it loses its life for having done so.  

This is the society in which we live.  Worldly belief systems have been added to the TV shows we watch, the advertisements we absorb, the music we listen to, the books we read or listen to, school books, games, etc.  Every aspect of society has been indoctrinated with a view point that dismisses God as irrelevant.  

What’s even more dangerous is that these destructive belief systems have been added to our daily lifestyles. The outcome of accepting these worldly lies is that our lives are now filled with unhealthy emotional and mental instabilities, self-centered living, and selfish behavior.

For instance, I see this strong selfish mindset as the foundation that leads to deadly car accidents because people refuse to stop texting and driving. Their impulse to text is more important than anything and anyone else. You can see this warped mindset in husbands and wives who are having relationships with people outside of their marriage. I see the worldly lies as the foundation in abuse of every kind, hatred, jealousy, selfish ambition, envy, murder, and the way it seems that people are not able to distinguish between what is good and what is evil.

The TRUTH is, God sent His only Son to die for us in order that we could have life and have life more abundantly.  He has given us everything we need pertaining to life and godliness. God has made hope and a future available to us, but we have to choose to believe it and receive it. God’s kingdom and the way His kingdom is ordered, is diametrically opposed to the way the world lives and believes.  

Which belief system will you choose to follow?  Will you follow the worldly belief systems that are fraught with and led by selfish human beings and their personal agendas, or will you choose to be a Kingdom citizen and receive the benefits of an abundant life? 

We are teaching our coaching clients how to turn away from the worldly lies, so they can have the opportunity to become rich beyond monetary value.


For the least of these, 

Carol L. Green

Thank You Daddy

This week, in anticipation of Father's Day, I want to make an encore presentation of a blog I posted last year on Father's Day. The original blog can be found at http://themenofhonor.blogspot.com/2015/06/blog-post.html

It reads:

I have some very fond memories with my dad. He was a fun-loving dad who always threw caution to the wind. It got him in trouble many times, but it also gave his children a sense of adventure and daring that proved to be very helpful for us when we found ourselves called in to the ministry.

My dad saw my love for sports and took me to my first baseball game. The St. Louis Cardinals were playing the Montreal Expos and Jose Cardenal hit a two run double in the seventh inning that gave them a 4-2 victory. I couldn’t believe I was actually there, in a 50,000 seat stadium, looking at the high tech scoreboard, the massive crowd, and experiencing all the sounds I always heard when I listened to games on the radio. I had become a devoted fan; and dad gave me a chance to experience the real thing; to actually see my heroes live and in person. I have cherished that memory all of my life. 

There were many other games in the years that followed. I especially loved the day I sat between my dad and his dad and watched Bob Gibson, my all time favorite Cardinal baseball player, pitch on Labor Day. I actually realized I was experiencing something very special that would never happen again; three generations, sitting together, enjoying our favorite sport.

Those were the times that established something in my heart that I have tried to give my children. There are once-in-a-life-time opportunities that come your way, and I tried to stay prepared for those moments with my sons. Then there are some things you cannot wait for, because some memories you simply have to make.

Through the years, I hope my children have had special moments that they can recall with the same kind of fondness and deep impacting love that I feel when I think back on special moments with my dad.

My dad didn’t always put his arms around my shoulder, or say 'I love you' in those moments. He wasn’t that kind of man. He gave us nicknames and he always told us he was proud of us. When I was struggling in arithmetic, he started calling me 'math major' and it built my confidence to try harder and I found success. I became a straight-A student in math.

My dad is not perfect. He had his issues with his children from time to time, like any father. I was sort of a middle child. He married my mom, who already had a precious little girl, and they had three sons before I came along. One son died while my mom was pregnant with me. Then they had two more children after me. 

There were many times when life was very hard. It was downright harsh and cruel for him. I was angry with him a few times, mainly because I had no idea what it took to be the head of the household. I learned from his mistakes, as well as his resiliency. And maybe that’s the greatest thing my dad gave us; resiliency.

Just like my dad’s journey, as a husband and father, life has been hard, sometimes harsh and downright cruel for me, but I learned from my dad how to get up and go to work every day, no matter how you feel. When I lost jobs, opportunities, homes, friends, and loved ones, I knew how to get up and keep going. Dad demonstrated to us that you should never give up, even after a failure. You never stop, no matter how you feel.

So in honor of my dad and ultimately, God, my heavenly Father, I wrote a song many years ago that expresses thanks. I gave it an informal title: Thank You Daddy.

I just want to share that song with you this week. 

The original recording can be heard HERE.

The lyrics are:

There’s so much I take for granted, Like the rising of the sun
Every time I see the morning, Never thankful for the dawn

Like a father who’s always there, With the same things every day
So consistent and expected, Sometimes I forget to say

(Chorus)
Thank you daddy
For the blue that’s in the sky
Thank you daddy
For the light that’s in Your eye
Thank you daddy
For the life beat I’ve been handed
I get so busy
I'm taking you for granted

There’s so much you’re always doing, You watch my life and keep me safe
Sometimes you throw in extras, Giving me a little bit more grace

You take the time to listen, When all I bring are complaints
You carry me on your shoulders, And you sing to me in the rain

I can always recall the discipline you gave
All the nights you spent with me, And the path that you have paved

You’ll give more love tomorrow than all my yesterdays
So please forgive me daddy, I never take the time to say 

Thank you, thank you
For every single day

Thank you, thank you
For every breath I take

Thank you, thank you 
You made us sons and daughters

Thank you, thank you
Because you are our Father

Thank you

© Green, Christopher 2001


For the least of these, 

Dr. Christopher G. Green

What is a Christian?

...And the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch.   ---Acts 11:26b

As most of you know, we are ministering on the front lines in Harrisburg as community life coaches. God has been using this aspect of our ministry to provide practical tools for people who are trying to rebuild their lives in the midst of great devastation. Part of that recovery process involves referring them to mental health professionals who can help them to work through the pain of the past, while we are helping them begin making plans for the future.

As we have coached our clients, worked with professionals, consulted with heterosexual couples, and had impromptu conversations with a gay couple, we have been astounded by a very negative theme that has been at the core of nearly every encounter; and that has been people's understanding of what it means to be a Christian.

Before I go any further, I need to ask you to intentionally lay aside all feelings of offense and don't get defensive about what I'm about to tell you. This is more of an informal survey and an observation, but it is extremely important if we are going to be serious about reaching people today.

From what people have expressed to us, these are their definitions of the word Christian, at least according to what they all have experienced first-hand, primarily from family members, co-workers, classmates and various professionals.

Christian: Someone who abuses you physically, sexually, mentally and emotionally, and then stands in a pulpit and preaches about love.

Christian: Someone who hates Blacks, Latinos and Asians, and then preaches about love on Sunday morning.

Christian: Someone who is vindictive, cruel, unloving, and vengeful, but they attend their church every week, participating in its many activities and events.

Christian: A religious group who slaughtered the natives of this land, brought in slaves, and use big business and politics to continue to promote their way of life.

Christian: Dominating, imperialistic people who have an agenda to force everyone into their way of thinking and living.

Christian: Evangelical, right wing, conservative, Tea Party, racist, KKK, Bible quoting, hypocrites.

Christian: African American pastors who impregnate young girls in their churches, force them to get abortions, manipulate people to give money, and do nothing but grandstand in the public to draw attention to themselves.

Christian: Gullible congregants who continue to follow and support corrupt church leaders and will defend those leaders, no matter what. 

Christian: African American congregants who live out nothing that they profess. They are often the worst employees, and the most unreliable business people.

Christian: Someone who buries all of the family secrets with religious talk. They never talk about their own dirt and never explain themselves. They never answer real questions and shun anyone who is not perfect like they pretend to be.

Christian: Fake people, phony people, liars, and hypocrites.

This is just a small sampling of the type of descriptions that have invaded our conversations. Ever since God led us to the front lines of Harrisburg, we have been brought face to face with where people REALLY are in their thinking and beliefs. 

We realize there are some people who are just looking for excuses to live any way they choose, but these descriptions came up in the midst of conversations about past trauma, NOT religious debates or complaints about the Church. After many of our coaching sessions and private conversations, we could only sigh and say, "No wonder people don't come to our churches anymore."

We even found opposition to our Life Coaching because of this misconception. One young lady cancelled several appointments with us because her abusive, religious mother has the same title of Life Coach within the church she attends. So this young woman thought our coaching was going to be like her mother's coaching.  When this came out in our session we told her, "Life Coaching is not about dictating to people and doing things to try to run another person's life." She was so relieved to find out that we were not like her religious, mean, unloving, and hypocritical mother.

The challenge is quite daunting as we work past decades and centuries of a type of Christianity that was never of God. But people don't know that, so we are out there showing who Jesus (Yeshua) Christ really is. 

The other challenge is that many Christians want to defened the Church by dismissing the actual trauma that has been caused by Christians. But you cannot defend the Church by denying what people have gone through, no more than you can defend America by denying slavery and racism. Yes, one can defend their cause, but denying reality is not the way to do it.

We encourage you to take on the challenge with a different strategy. Instead of merely proclaiming that you're a genuine Christian and you're "standing up" for the true Church, just show the wounded the true love of Jesus Christ. Humble yourself and acknowledge what has happened and the pain that has been caused. It can be as simple as saying, "Yes, you're right. That never should have happened. I'm so sorry that happened to you." 

Please don't take the defensive road and say, "But we're not all like that." That is the same defense that ruffles those of us who have endured police harrassment through traffic stops. We're always told that they're not all like that. We already know that they're not all like that. But it doesn't take all policemen to profile us and pull us over in baseless traffic stops. It only takes ONE. So again, don't get defensive. Just be humble.

Personally, in my own understanding, I try to make a distinction between the Church as a religous institution, versus the Church, the people who have the living God indwelling them. When asked, I find myself telling people that I follow The Way, which is what this original move of God was called before Believers were given the name, Christians in the city of Antioch. 

"But this I confess to you, that according to THE WAY, which they call a sect, so I worship the God of my fathers, believing all things which are written in the Law and in the Prophets." ----Acts 24:14

I find this description disarms prejudices and biases, and makes people a little bit more curious.

During the last century, the word Christian has developed a very different meaning. Therefore what people understand about the Church is skewed as well. In this century, in the understanding of many (if not most people), a Christian has very little to do with Christ. I used to get very upset with that conflicting reality, but now, I no longer fight it. We don't have time to waste, trying to change everyone's personal definition of what it means to be a Christian or what is the Church. 

However, we can work and live to change their understanding of Christ Himself. We're on the front lines of this battle, and that's what we are doing with greater success every day.

For the least of these, 

Coach Chris Green